Awkward and Badass: Why Owning Your Messy Self Builds Real Confidence

In this special episode of the Own Your Awkward Podcast, Andy Vargo sits down with Marie Sonneman of Ordinary to Badass to explore the powerful, and surprisingly complementary, relationship between being awkward and being a “badass.” Through laughter, real talk, and deeply relatable stories, they break down why confidence does not come from perfection but from authenticity, mindset, and learning to own who you are, even when it feels messy. If you have ever wondered whether you can be both uncomfortable and unstoppable at the same time, this conversation will show you exactly how.

When Awkward Meets Badass

At first glance, “awkward” and “badass” feel like opposites. One conjures images of tripping over your words, spilling your drink, or second guessing yourself in social situations. The other sounds like confidence, boldness, and fearless action.

But as Andy and Marie quickly reveal, these two are not rivals. They are partners.

Marie leans right into this idea from the very start of the conversation, even literally embracing an awkward moment when she drops something during recording and laughs it off. Instead of hiding it, she owns it, and instantly reframes it as something powerful rather than embarrassing.

This sets the tone for the entire episode: awkward moments are not evidence that something is wrong with you, they are proof that you are human and showing up.

Redefining What It Means to Be a “Badass”

Marie Sonneman, founder of Ordinary to Badass, has a refreshingly grounded take on what being a badass actually means. It is not about leather jackets, loud confidence, or dominating every room you enter. For her, badassery is rooted in something much deeper.

She describes it as internal confidence, authenticity, owning your awkward, and cultivating a mindset that allows you to trust yourself.

This perspective was shaped through her own journey. After losing confidence during her time in law enforcement, Marie rebuilt it not through flashy achievements but through deeply personal wins, including paying off $106,000 in debt and training for a marathon even when she did not see herself as “a runner.”

Her realization was simple but powerful: if I could do that, what else can I do?

That question becomes a gateway for anyone listening to start rewriting their own self narrative.

The Quiet Power of Daily Wins

One of the most impactful parts of the conversation is when Marie introduces her guided journal, Proof of My Badassery. Unlike traditional gratitude journals, which focus on what you are thankful for, this one focuses on what you have done.

The goal is to help people recognize the strength they show every day, even in moments that feel small or unimpressive.

Andy highlights why this matters. So many people discount their own resilience because their story does not feel dramatic enough. But showing up, getting through hard days, making the next right choice, these are not minor things. They are the foundation of confidence.

When you begin documenting your own proof of badassery, you start seeing yourself differently. You move from “I am just getting by” to “I am actively building something.”

Reframing the Way You Think

This naturally connects to Andy’s work and his book Own Your Awkward Thoughts, which focuses on reframing negative thinking patterns. He shares how powerful it can be to interrupt automatic thoughts and ask better questions about what is actually happening.

Instead of letting one awkward moment define your identity, you learn to view it as a data point, not a verdict.

The ability to reframe is not about pretending things are perfect. It is about choosing interpretations that empower rather than diminish you.

This skill alone can transform how you show up in your relationships, your work, and especially in moments where fear or discomfort try to take the wheel.

Vulnerability Builds Real Connection

One of the most relatable parts of the episode is the discussion around social awkwardness. Walking into a room and not knowing where to stand, what to say, or how to join a conversation is something nearly everyone has experienced.

Andy and Marie flip the script on this by suggesting that being upfront about awkwardness actually builds connection faster than trying to hide it.

When you say, “Well this is awkward,” or laugh at yourself instead of shrinking, you release the pressure to be perfect. And in doing so, you invite others to relax too.

This principle shows up strongly in Andy’s work as a speaker. He emphasizes that relatability matters far more than polish. Audiences connect with people, not performances.

Owning Your Story, Even When It Feels Small

One of the most powerful moments in the episode comes when Andy shares his personal journey of owning his awkwardness, including coming out later in life and learning to embrace authenticity at age 40.

For a long time, he believed his story was too ordinary to matter. But he discovered that it was precisely that ordinariness that made it powerful. People saw themselves in it.

This is a reminder that you do not need a dramatic origin story to be impactful. Your story becomes meaningful when you own it and share it honestly.

Normalizing the Down Days

Another refreshing part of the conversation is how openly Andy and Marie talk about down days. Even after feeling confident or “badass,” there are days when motivation dips, self doubt creeps in, or energy runs low.

They compare this to athletes having an off season. It does not mean you failed. It means you are human.

The key is not avoiding these days but learning not to let them erase all your progress. Growth is not a straight line, and that is not a flaw, it is the process.

Becoming an Ordinary Badass

The episode wraps with Andy identifying as an “ordinary badass,” a concept that perfectly ties everything together.

An ordinary badass is someone who does things that look extraordinary to others but feel normal to them because it is simply who they are and what they do. For Andy, public speaking may look fearless and bold, but to him it is just his natural habitat.

This idea invites listeners to reconsider their own lives. What are you doing right now that feels ordinary to you but might be inspiring to someone else?

Chances are, you are far more of a badass than you give yourself credit for.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a powerful reminder that confidence is not about eliminating awkwardness, it is about integrating it. When you stop fighting who you are and start owning it, you unlock a version of yourself that is both grounded and unstoppable.

Awkward and badass are not opposites. Together, they might just be your superpower.