Laugh all you want at my quirky ways, but I hope at the end of this you have found at least one or two useful tips to get you through what none of us like to deal with: air travel.

I have a lot of rules. These are my own set of boundary-protecting rules to keep me safe. And by safe I believe at this point most of them are for my own mental sanity and comfort, more than actual health and physical safety.  That said I would like to walk you through an air travel experience following my guidelines. Here is a quick list of my ‘rules’.

• The no touch down policy
• Wear the right clothes
• Put up the air curtain and hug the wall
• Never use the germ chamber
• Keep the tray away
• Hit the showers

The no touch down policy

The base foundation for many of my rules is my very strict ‘no touch down’ policy.  This is something I live by daily and you will see referred to both in this article as well as the upcoming post about making it a clean hotel stay. What is a ‘no touch down’ policy you ask?  Well it is very simply; no skin contact with dirty surfaces.  You will see this here today as we talk about touching others, touching the seats, and touching the tray but it has so many applications throughout life.  Perhaps you are already part of the ‘no touch down’ club and do not even know it. For example, on the escalator, do you hold the hand rail or simply lean on it with an elbow protected by a long sleeve shirt? Or when leaving a restroom, do you grab the door handle bare handed or do you use a double layer of paper towel as a barrier? Call me crazy, but I imagine there are more of us out there than we think.

Dress the part!

Let’s start by making sure we are dressed to protect ourselves.  My ‘no touch down’ policy includes not touching strangers, especially in the rubbing arms together for two hours on a flight way.  So for me I start out with long pants and of course a long sleeve shirt with a pocket.  This way, before boarding flight I can stick a pack of gum, a napkin or tissue and my headphones into my chest pocket in my shirt.  The long sleeves and pants cover any risk of skin to skin contact with my row mates in case they opted for short sleeves.  Loading the items I expect to use for the flight in my pocket allow for me to not have to dig or do the awkward squirm to reach my pant pocket while wedged into the mini-seat.  Of course I don’t think I have to say that shoes with socks are a requirement, walking through a security line with bare feet is a very high rule violation.

Put up the air curtain and hug the wall

Now that I have made it through security, into my seat, and am armed with my appropriate clothing barrier, it’s time to establish a ‘safe zone’ in my seat.  What is a safe zone?  Well, this is a protected air space, at least as much protected as possible.  I prefer the window seat.  I use the window as a wall and if need be I plaster myself as close to that side as possible.  Immediately I turn on what I call the air curtain, aiming the air vent directly down between myself and my seat mate to hopefully reroute any breath, germs or odors that may be emanating from their side.  I have an issue with odor from others, even potentially good odors such as cologne or the smell of fresh shampoo.  I just do not like the feeling of those air particles floating off of another person and me not having any right of refusal before they enter my body.  So to the wall I cling and up goes the air curtain to stave off whatever particulates it can keep away.  It is a weak defense I admit it, but it can help.

Never use the germ chamber

Do I really have to tell you not to use the germ chamber?  You know what that is right?  You know the pocket in front of you that thousands of people have stuffed their used hankies, empty wrappers and bathroom magazines in? Avoid touching anything in this pit at all costs. No magazine browsing. After all how many people so you think licked their fingers to turn the pages leaving a ‘spit stamp’ on every page corner. And do you really need to look at the food menu?  Just look over their shoulder while your germ bearing seat partner is looking at theirs! While I can not say enough on this topic, I do not think I need to say more to get my point across.

Keep the tray away

Sometimes you do need to use the tray.  I often begrudgingly use mine, but I do touch it as little as possible and have been known to give it a quick wipe down with a sanitizing wipe.  Rules for tray use, sanitize, and of course no food contact or risk of accidental food contact such as setting your scone on your napkin on the tray when it could spill over a bit.  As for your drink? This must be kept on opposite side of your row mate or closest to the window, to avoid any breathing into the beverage, especially if you are sitting next to a heavy breather or a sigher.  As you can imagine it is never refreshing or relaxing to eat on a flight, but with a few guidelines it can be tolerated.

Hit the Showers

So now you have traveled through a day of air travel with me.  Was this as stressful for you as it is for me?  Only one last thing to do and that is to get to your destination and hit the showers and start over with fresh clothes. If your destination is home, then you are in your ultimate safe zone!  If however you are checking into a hotel, you will want to be sure to read my upcoming post in this series about making it a clean stay.

Again I would like to thank you for flying with my on the journey and humoring my many rules.  I look forward to hearing about your rules and habits for travel in the comments section below.  If you enjoyed this article please give your friends the chance to enjoy it as well by liking and sharing.

Andy Vargo is a motivational speaker, life coach and comedian who challenges you to ‘Own Your Awkward’. He is the author of the Awkward Journal series, host of the podcast, Own Your Awkward, and shares thoughts and ideas in his blog and video series available at awkwardcareer.com.

photo credit Celia Martinez Bravo @freeimages